Spoons and Stuff

I get so caught up in my work that this blog tends to be an escape from responsibility. So I am not allowing the reader to think that Peace Corps isn’t accomplishing the services it espouses, I will give a briefing on my projects.

In training Peace Corps put a lot of emphasis on behavior change, but even if people changed their behaviors here, there would not be the infrastructure to support it. I would love to have everybody disposing of trash properly but the fact is, there is no one to carry it down the mountain – so they throw it in sinkholes. Not because they don’t know that they are watersheds for the rest of the island, but because actually, they are clean people. They don’t want to look at waste strune about the place, so they throw it in a sinkhole where they and no one else will have to look at it. You think that would motivate Solid Waste Management to come pick up the trash because it is really their problem – I mean – they are the ones drinking the water that drains though all that trash.

We should be getting 15 steel drums from Appleton to use as trash receptacles. My plan is to hold a trash can painting competition in the town, so people will take more pride and ownership in them. Maybe they won’t burn trash in them, or steal them to use as water catchments or roofing – like they did the last batch of drums.

I have tried teaching guitar in the school, but there is only one guitar and to make matters worse, the principle hand picked the students – (all of whom have no desire to learn the guitar). It didn’t take long before they just quit showing up. Who would want to stay after school against their will anyway?

One can waste a lot of time trying to teach people that don’t want to be taught. When you meet somebody who’s ready to learn then it can make all the difference. One evening, on the road I past by Dowdy’s shop to get a beer. Dowdy is one of those guys that you find all over Jamaica who work ridiculously hard at hustling money. One day they’ll be a taxi driver, the next day a welder, and then you see them on the side of the road selling shoes, pots n’ pans  or those wonderful synthetic flowers that every Jamaican adorns their home with. They live on one of the most bio-diverse rocks in the world that contains countless varieties of beautiful flowers, yet they prefer the plastic ones. And I don’t mean one or two. There is not a mantle to dresser top that does not host one next species of plastic plant.

Anyway, so one night I am drinking a beer over at Dowdy’s and the man is just sitting there smoking a spliff when he turns to me and complains “Zeb…Di moneh not a run mon.” To any hard working American this makes stunning sense coming from a man who is doing nothing. Well, all I did was suggest that in his “spare” time when he had his hands free, he could be doing something – making something – Like…I don’t know – like a spoon. The next day I saw Dowdy, and he had already completed one spoon and started another. By the end of the week he had three spoons. To make things even better,  he sold all three the next week. And on top of that, some guy in Maggotty saw him making a spoon and commissioned one big spoon from him. He must have made 5,500 Jay those two weeks – (7,000 = 100 USD) Its is always nice to see the power of a simple suggestion.

Now when someone starts to turn profit in Maroon Town it doesn’t go unnoticed. It didn’t take much time before a couple of others stated with the carving as well. You could see the smiles on their faces as they sat there carving – with those big, cartoon dollar signs in their eyes. I am not joking – this is a true story. They really did have those big cartoon dollar signs in their eyes. So far it seems like a capacity builder’s dream come true, and I wish I could say that they are all still sitting there working, but then this wouldn’t be a true story. It didn’t take long before Dowdy realized that he was pretty lucky so far – that there was not going to be a buyer ready every time his work was done. So the next time I saw him carving he commented that I need to start selling his work for him. Fatah, one of the other carvers, came to me trying to sell his work. I just told them not to worry – they’ll sell. There’s not going to be a buyer ready every time they complete just one piece. I told them, “you have to build an inventory.”

Inventory?

Yes, that term capitalists made up that defined our culture of surplus. Or the other way around – whatever. Either way, that big dollar sign in their eyes immediately changed into a question mark. They didn’t know that I was talking about. I explained in the most clear, respectful manner possible, but whatever I could tell them would not please them. Quick money is the way this place runs. How could they really grasp “inventory” coming from a culture that demands to be paid before they start work. So, I have enjoyed the little success they made, and the hope it gave them – It is just another example of why money doesn’t “run” here in Maroon Town. It’s actually more like a big fat girl sprinting the 100 yard dash – stopping about every 5 yards to regain stamina and motivation. There is this big cake waiting for her at the finish line, but she knows that when she gets there somebody will have already eaten it.

Laughing

I could sit down and tell you a cool adventure story or sound off my woes and regrets, but I am in the business of service and know only one thing that everyone needs – which is to laugh.

    Laughter is a funny thing. Sometimes we laugh at a joke or other people looking like idiots. Sometimes it’s a little diabolical hubris, pain, fear, or when life just completely got the suckiest it ever gets. It seems funny. That laughter is present in such a variety of situations. Situations that would draw tears out of many of us cause others to laugh. Sometimes we laugh at first and then we start to cry. Like when you stump your toe. You see- you remember it – that time you were on top of things and it seemed as though nothing could bring you down – except of course that chair leg or the base of your stair case. And there you sit, holding your toe, rocking back and forth – laughing this awesome healthy laugh that you hadn’t laughed since that last time that you watched Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery.

    Sometimes I laugh when I get into a dreadfully uncomfortable situation. Like when I walk into the bar and there is this big ole fat woman sitting there and the guy next to her says, Zeb, this is my cousin. You can have her. He wonders why I laugh, but what can you say to something like that – thanks – maybe – its just hilarious and uncomfortable Either way he is going to ask you why not because you know you cannot say yes. All the while she is just sitting there giving me a look  - that big black woman, one raised eye brow look that falls short of being sexually provocative and illicits laughter instead. Another fine example surfaced a few weeks ago while walking through town. There is this one promiscuous girl that never fails in giving me sexual innuendos in my passing. This one particular morning she yelled to get my attention and in glancing over I saw her humping her veranda railing as a demonstration of what she wanted to do to me. I always wonder what would happen if I gave her the ok – would she hump me just like the veranda real for a few minutes and then send me on my way. One day I am just going to say yes and see what happens. In the mean time, I will just laugh and hasten my stride. Jamaicans love violent movies – adventure films are the chosen form of entertainment, and whatever film includes more than 5 straight minutes of dialogue is quickly replaced with one next shootem out epic. A true adventure film carries attributes of every film genre – drama, violence, sex, and comedy. Comedy and violence seemed to rolled up into one here. I will be sitting around watching a movie with Jamaicans and there will be this real violent scene in the movie where people are being slaughtered mercilessly. These scenes are comic relief for that tense drama of the last scene. So there you have it- there is even laughter in uncompromising cruelty.

    Humor surfaces amidst the most hapless circumstances and even sorrow. I believe that such laughter is a valuable aspect in our growth and development, so much so that our individual ability to survive and cope with enduring hardships is directly related to that inward chuckle that results from prolonged physical or emotional injury. That chuckle is the human spirits defense against self pity and the seriousness with which life is sometimes regarded. Some might think it malicious to jest at cruelty, sorrow, and pain, but when you really think about it, you’re just replacing something bad with something good.

 

The Adventures of Tim and Zeb

When I was about 12 years old the woods behind Tim’s creek seemed like an infinite maze of hillocks and trees – in other words, the coolest playground in the world. On the weekend, weather and Tim’s mother permitting we would launch off on one of our great adventures. First, I would call.
(Ring Ring)
Hello
Hey its Zeb can I please speak with Tim
…Timothy!
Hello
Hey Tim you want to do something. (Something invariably meant striking out into the wilderness)
Sure
My place or your place
I don’t care
- In which case I usually ended up walking to Tim’s house.
Tim grew up cater-corner to my grandmother’s house which was at the end of my driveway. Our driveway wasn’t just any driveway. It was notorious all over Bell Buckle for being ridiculously long. My mother preferred to be away members of her own species and convinced my father to build our home way off in the boonies. It certainly did the trick because even those who knew where we lived couldn’t locate the turn off to our home. It was so blasted far from the house. This made walking down to Tim’s a commitment that I hope he has come to appreciate.
Because I grew up so far from people, I have become the shy type – to put it mildly. I am not the sort of fellow that announces his presence with a yell, nor am I much for knocking on people’s door. It is actually a kind of queer and rude custom when you think it over – to just walk up to somebody else’s house and start beating the door with your fist. Furthermore, it lacks any manner of identification. There is no telling how many women have been raped and homes pillaged as a result of this stupid custom. It is a good example of natural selection at its worse. If we announced our presence with a yell, then those inside would be able to decipher friend from stranger. On the contrary, we even make door bells, which absolutely eliminate all possibility of identification. Ding dong – who is it – it could be jack the ripper or your freakin granny. Who knows – the damn thing – it always sounds the same.
When I reached Tim’s door I could tell whether or not he was home just by noticing the cards parked in the driveway. Sometimes I could even hear the TV blaring in the living room, which made standing out there beating on the door even more awkward because it wasn’t to see if anyone was home – it was to get them to come to the door. There were times when I must have stood out there for 155 minutes and sometimes I would even take a break for a few minutes because my knuckles would start to get sore. Tim always told me that I should just come in, but I could never do that – Why – I can tell you why – because Americans have the right to bear arms and shoot people they don’t want in their homes. That’s why. In addition, I always tried to stay out of peoples way as much as I could. Having a friend like Tim was one of the greatest things about being a kid. I would like to think that he would say the same thing about me, but it would be surprising. I was a nasty little shit back then – always assuming the role of Alpha male and I am sure that he had to put up with more bullshit from me than he deserved. All things being equal, Tim ended up being the smart one and two times my size to boot – karma I guess. Anyway, we would end up going on these long walks in the woods looking this cave that my grandfather had found in his youth. My father and uncle had spent much of their childhoods scouring the hill in search of the cavern, only to give up and pass the job onto Tim and I.
There is nothing quite so exciting as to give to younguns a job like finding a cave. This amounts to the Magnum opus of adventures when you are twelve years old. I would come fully equipped with bow and arrow and Tim – he always had a oak tobacco stick he used as a staff. Every week he would discover a new, heavy hunk of wood and that would be his betsy until he lost it – which never took very long. Like most all boys we had a secret, knawing itch to be heroic icons – something like Heman or the Ninja Turtles. I think all men actually desire this and if they admitted it the world would be a much safer place.
I d say we scoured that hilltop for about two years looking for the cave. I remember the day we found it quite clearly. It was on a hazy morning one Christmas Eve and I was walking out front as usual – because I knew what I was doing – naturally. The ground ahead was sunken in and its craggy, cavernous exterior clearly indicated that we had found a cave which actually was just a glorified hole in the ground.
Finding that cave was for us, what climbing Mount Everest must have been for Sir Edmund Hillary. I had all the makings of and epic adventure and we pursued it in that manner, as if we were determined to make a great epic memory, to make the most out of like. Even as a youngster I cant remember a time when I wasn’t concerned about making the most out of my life. To this day I am one frugal bastard – always working towards getting my moneys worth. Nothing gets me more worked up than getting scammed.
The cave was just the beginning. A staging ground for further adventures. Adventures like that are so necessary when you’re a kid, because being a kid isn’t easy – don’t let anyone tell you it is. It is just as dag blame hard as every other day of your life – its just not boring.
Every Christmas Eve Tim and I make an effort to return to the cavern – celebrating the anniversary of its discovery. I think it is out way of paying tribute to a good memory. Remembering life is often one of the most valuable experiences of living. Sure there are things we regret, and some self-pity that might arise, but damn it, life is great – and memories are even better. The cave is just a reservoir of good memories, and when we go up there now, we don’t even speak- we are both too busy enjoying the thoughts of times past – playing them over and over again in our minds like a movie or good book of which one never tires.